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To prick, or not to prick? Where do you stand on sausage stabbing before cooking?
I don't like rusk.
Created by Keith Charlish, of The Paddocks Butchery, in Bunwell, from Puma Rihanna White Sneakers
Ooh, you wicked thing!
Stacia, I am afraid this interview is over and I am going to have to ask you to leave. I don't know what this 'vegetarian' thing is but it sounds dangerous and if it is catching I certainly don't want it.
No secret I'm simply the best.
Tell me a secret.
Finally while I am very pleased to 'meat' you, as a vegetarian I am equally pleased not to eat you. How do you feel about vegetarians?
Did it where? No I'm only joking: the real answer is because it couldn't rock, of course.
Why did the sausage roll?
Made from succulent meat from a herd of Large Black pigs that live in the shadow of Oxburgh Hall to a top secret recipe, the Bunwell Banger insists he is no flash in the pan.
Which ingredients would you like to join you on a plate?
Goodness! A Bunwellian Come Dine with Me! What fun! First up would be Bling Kong who is my top GoGo Gorilla. He is so shiny and I am so delicious we are a match made in heaven. Next is Galton Blackiston. Originally I thought I was going to The Cayman Islands when I won the Battle of The Bangers but it seems there won't be any cash to stash so I'm off to Cromer instead. Now that Galton chappie has opened a chippy there, I wouldn't mind being his deep fried sausage. Third well I quite fancy Vanessa Scott getting her chops around me again. And last as well as definitely least my cousin The Brecks Banger who is no better than he should be.
in Norfolk, you know.
We caught up with him ahead of his title challenge on Saturday:
meat supplied by Scotts Field Pork run by Rob and Sarah Simonds, the Bunwell Banger has his own Twitter account, celebrity followers and has already given radio interviews.
On Saturday, he will join a sizzling selection of Norfolk sausages to fight for the coveted trophy in the hotly contended Battle of the Bangers competition held at The Forum in Norwich.
When my editor told me he'd like me to interview a sausage, I feared the wurst. But I'm told you're a particularly intellectual Puma Platform Green sausage with a growing fan base. What's the secret recipe to your success?
What makes the perfect sausage?
I am also waiting for a call from that ginger bloke Chris Evans who thinks himself a bit of a pie man but of course he hasn't tasted me yet, so you may well hear me on the radio.
Which four guests would you invite to your perfect dinner party, and why?
Such a great question Stacia, because I am The Perfect Sausage. I am made from The Scotts Field herd of Large Black pigs who are as rare as they are lovely which is very. They live next to Oxburgh Hall and the delicious pork they produce is sent a few miles up the road to Bunwell where Keith Charlish uses his magic and turns it into me the Bunwell Banger. There aren't many sausages that have such a glorious beginning (and end) Puma Suede Platform Purple
The Battle of the Bangers is part of the EDP Adnams Norfolk Food and Drink Festival 2013 and will take place at The Forum from 9.30am on Saturday. Members of the public will be given the chance to sample sausages and vote for their favourite. The overall winner will be awarded an engraved cleaver and their sausage will appear on the menu at The Unthank Arms in Norwich and at The Pantry at Jarrold.
snifter or two. Stress levels are good unless I hear The Archers on the radio (those Norwich butchers get everywhere).
Meet the talking sausage as the Bunwell Banger prepares to do battle
It was one in a string of pre match interviews, but the Bunwell Banger is acclimatising to his new role in the limelight and positively relishing the media attention.
You're a competitor in the upcoming Battle of the Bangers on Saturday. How are you coping with the pressure?
Pretty well despite being asked to lay down life and limb for the honour of all Bunwellians. I am a particularly well built and meaty sausage so I don't need much training just the odd stroll and a Puma Platform Elemental
Now that is a difficult one. I've been trying to persuade those girls at Breckland Orchard to make a sausage flavoured squash but I'm getting absolutely nowhere with them no imagination, you know. I wouldn't mind some Stokes Tomato Ketchup do you think those nice people at City Hall would give it a visa to travel from Suffolk? If not, I'm quite fond of Norfolk spuds and puddin'.
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